Saturday, June 20, 2015

When life gives you lemons...

Floss...

How are you? I have to admit that I am feeling a bit down in the dumps. Atleast regarding Polka & Bloom and being creative in general. And it's because of #VATMESS.

I took my shop offline for all of January as you may remember, and then it took me another couple-ish of weeks to get a shop up and running again. So now it's been about 4 months since I was back in business so to speak. And it's not going very well.

Sales are down. Way down. It feels very vulnerable to admit that. It feels weak. Like I don't have a clue about what I'm doing and my business is just a joke. I don't want you to think that. Although there are days when I feel like that myself.

I think there is a number of (rational) reasons for the sales being down, but that's actually not what I want to write about today...

I have to admit that this lack of sales has had a big impact. And not just because of the lack of income. And feeling like I'm not pulling my weight around here.

You may have noticed that I've not published a new pattern since December. Apart from the Mini Embellishment Club that is. I'm just not feeling it. It's like...well, no one is going to buy it, so what's the point anyway? Maybe I should just quit it all together and do something else. Maybe my patterns suck and that's why people have stopped buying them.

Yeah. Total whinge fest. :-/

Floss...
I am basically questioning everything about my business and my ability to create things. That's a dark cloud to have hanging over your creativity.

I create patterns because I love it. I love embroidering and I love coming up with new patterns for people to stitch. But since I also make patterns as a business, I need to publish new stuff on a regular basis.

So finding myself in a place where I feel like I don't have any good ideas is also bad for business. But worse for my confidence in myself.

It feels like a very low point. Maybe not rock bottom, but close enough. And I'm sick of that. So I'm going to rekindle the creative fire, even if it's just for me. I am going to reclaim my joy of making and sharing. Even if I make terrible projects. The EU may hamper our businesses but they can't take our creativity.

I don't have a master plan for how to get back on the (stitchy Dala) horse, I don't really believe that you can 'beat' the creative blues. I think you can acknowledge that this is how you feel and try and make little steps towards feeling differently. Perhaps with a dose of fake it until you make it. :-)

Floss...
One thing that doesn't help is to worry about things. So I'm going to try and stop doing that. And instead work on some projects that will make me happy and feel inspired again. Even if they are just for me. Even if they are silly and even if they are ugly.

Maybe it's a good thing to feel like the only way is up. If it can't get any worse then there surely must be some freedom to just explore and experiment. What have I got to lose, right? :-)

Thank you for listening. xo Carina
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